Relationship Pyramid
An idea has been floating around inside my head lately, which associates the image of a pyramid to relationships. The idea is that depending upon where we are in a relationship we can see either great distance between ourselves and others or little distance or difference between self and other. The image isn’t perfect but it is an interesting thought none-the-less.
At first the image came about in regard to religions. When we consider the deeper truths of the world religions there are fewer and fewer difference between them. Yes, terms and origins differ but core ideas have more similarity than difference. So the higher you go into a religious belief the closer you come to the same views in other religions. Also that at the base where the most differences occur it can be said that what we are most concerned with is lots of small things thereby driving us further and further apart.
If we just consider for a moment how we relate to a loved partner. At first we were separate but over time, sometimes over small periods of time, we become closer and closer. It isn’t that the differences don’t still exist; it is just that they become less important. Eventually the relationship may end up where two people are united together and they can feel almost as one, inseparable. And if you think of the dissolution of relationships, you can see how the focus is more on what the differences are and there is a greater distance between the two people.
The same thing occurs on a societal/social level. We have created many labels for various people and have placed them in these various groups and we clearly define how they are different from us. It become less important and we become less able to see the things we share in common, the things that could bring us close together, and instead only see those things that drive us apart. In some cases there may be only one thing that is different, yet we make that one thing so hugely important that it overshadows all the things we have in common.
Keeping the image of a pyramid in mind might be an effect measure of where we are in relation to others and even ourselves. If we are tending to see differences between our self and others then perhaps we are being distracted by unimportant things that are serving to place us at the bottom of a pyramid of relationship. If though, after thinking about where we are we can then begin to focus more on what we have in common we can then possibly move up the sides of the pyramid to a point where our relationship is closer.
The other day I was asked by someone, who was concerned that they couldn’t fully abandon the act of eating meat, about vegetarianism. They viewed themselves as somehow inferior or even incapable of fully practicing Buddhism because of this. I asked them to consider for a moment what the idea of vegetarianism entailed. Even if a person is a vegetarian they can not be that without the efforts of non-vegetarians. And so if we go deeper then the label of eating or not eating meat we come to a realization that one is not so different than the other. Both rely on the efforts of many people who do not share the same belief, as such there ends up being more in common than different. In some ways the only difference is what is consumed at the dinner table. Yet we do not consider this and instead focus on the label. If we lived in a truly mindful way we would realize our interdependence and so close relationship and dependence on many other people who may not share this one or even several beliefs and practices we ascribe to.
This even applies in our Buddhist practice, I believe. It has been my experience, when listening to folks talk about their practice and their lives, they seem to focus almost exclusively on what it is about their lives they view as separating themselves from enlightenment. So they in a sense drive themselves lower on the pyramid, and loose their intimacy with Buddha.
In the Lotus Sutra the Buddha repeatedly talks about equality, and yet we all too often fail to see this in our own lives. In our daily and moment-to-moment practice do we focus on the things that divide ourselves from the condition of enlightenment? It is fair to always be mindful of ways in which we can improve, but these observations should motivate us towards unity or union with enlightenment.
As I have thought on this more and more it seems to me that keeping the image of the pyramid in mind can be a useful tool to see where our focus is. If we observe large divisions then perhaps we are focusing on many small details that are distracting us from the greater unity.
