Numerous times in my life, and I am sure in yours too, I have experienced setbacks, or roadblocks or even dead-ends. There have been times when my best laid plans became seemingly impossible to complete. My first attempt at college was put to a stop because of lack of money and the Vietnam War. After my discharge from the Marine Corps finding a job was very difficult, some employers did not want to hire a Vietnam Veteran, or I lacked the necessary provable skills. Even becoming a Buddhist was met with stiff objection by my superiors in the Marine Corps.
The difficulties did not stop even after my second and third attempts to go back to college where again money and life interfered. Sometimes finding jobs was challenging when my partner and I would move because of his job transfers. Sometimes the economic environment made finding jobs difficult or making ends meet with reduced or insufficient income. Even after practicing the Lotus Sutra for over 40 years there are still setbacks and frustrations.
One of the things I have learned over the years in Buddhism is the road of life is not always easy, our circumstances and our reactions to those circumstances are of our own making, and that happiness lies in the continuing journey and not the way-points along the path.
Psychologists and therapists frequently talk about resilience; that ability to pick one’s self up and re-enter the stream of life. There are some basic attributes of those who have resilience and three of them are; persistence, perspective, and support.
Persistence is somewhat seemingly obvious; you just keep trying. Yet it isn’t quite that simple. In Chapter II of the Lotus Sutra the Buddha says that many people try to stop suffering by suffering. We could liken this to not applying wisdom to understanding the true nature of our problem. Indeed sometimes we may eventually beat down a particular door, yet frequently we could achieve better results by using a different battering ram or even finding another more appropriate door.
Perspective frequently comes from time or distance. In my life many of my problems were not so majorly traumatic when viewed from a distance of either time or emotion. The more I have developed the ability to stand back from the problem emotionally, the more I have been able to realize it either is not personally about me, or the problem is not insurmountable. If we consider our Buddhist practice we should already be familiar with perspective since Buddhism is about the trajectory of our live over countless lifetimes. While as Buddhists we practice being in the here and now, Buddhism is not simply about the here and now.
Support comes from many places. It could come from our friends, if we have the right kind of friends. It could come from many places but only if we have the wisdom to look in the best places. Buddhism offers us the built in support of our teachers, our Sangha, and our practice and study. These are present for each of us to take advantage of however failing to do so does not indicate the inefficacy of the support. If a person who is drowning does not grab hold of the life-preserver then it isn’t the fault of the person throwing or even the life-preserve if they drown.
Please continue in and deepen your faith through practice and study. Remember it is the accumulation of effort over time that will result in a lifetime of happiness and enlightenment.
