Now you might imagine that perhaps Erin was getting into drugs with his friends. This would be a common thought however it was not the case. Erin and his friends simply hung out and talked. They talked about philosophy, religion, politics, they talked about everything. It was a time of intellectual engagement and expansion. Here was a group of friends who encouraged his free thinking and his exploration of ideas. He was both challenged and nourished in ways that he never was at home. At home all he did help his siblings out with their homework, or cleaning up, never ending chores it seemed, yet no conversations of any depth. The only things he heard were needs of others, and his own needs seemed to be unmet. It really wasn’t the fault of any one person, it was simply the fault of life. His new friends seemed to make the hurt less and helped him feel like he was growing up.
One night around midnight Erin comes home and immediately his father starts yelling at him. It really was too much for Erin. He felt he didn’t deserve it, he wasn’t doing anything bad, and he was almost an adult. He wished his father would get off his back and respect him and give him some freedom. It was just too much. Early in the morning Erin packed up a bag and snuck out of the house. If things couldn’t be better for him at home, then it was time he changed his home.
Sometimes it is easier to run away from home than it is to return. Six years go by and Erin and his dad never spoke, in fact Erin’s father did not even know where his son was. Six years Erin survived, not always easily, but he managed. If truth be told though he really missed his father, he missed his brothers and sisters. He really longed to go home and reunite with his family. How do you go home though? He knew how he left, that seemed easy, he knew how he survived, that too seemed easy. He wasn’t physically far from his father, but the path seemed virtually impossible to travel.
One day while Erin was working at the saw mill in the town next to where his family lived he ran across one of his old family neighbors. Erin recognized him even though he didn’t at first recognize Erin because he had grown so much; he was 21 now. The neighbor recounted how his father had really declined since that night Erin had run away. The neighbor told Erin that his father seemed to be only a shell on the outside and it was as if he had died on the inside. He told Erin how his father never stopped talking about his missing son and how much it would mean to him if only he could find him, if only he would come home.
This may sound a little like the parable of the rich man and his poor son, but that is another story for another time. Erin was by no means poor, he had done well saving his money and living very economically. He too was well respected in his town. And like his father he too longed to return home. Hearing the news of his father was the catalyst for his decision to go home, even if only to say hello and then return to his job at the mill.
Finally on his 22nd birthday Erin goes back home to reunite with his family. He didn’t really know what to expect, but he wasn’t prepared for the condition of the house, his bothers and sisters, and especially his father. Most of all though he wasn’t prepared for the emotions that he experienced, it was almost overwhelming. There was the sadness of the loss of his mother so many years ago. There were the memories of all the chores he had to do and his father never being there for him. Also the memories of how he and his father would fight seemed so fresh. All of this was so painful he almost never went in to say hello.
Should he knock on the door and risk opening up all the wounds that had never healed, or should he simply leave and let the past be gone? It isn’t easy going home sometimes.
