As I undertake an exploration into World-Voice-Perceiver Bodhisattva and the Buddhist understanding of our mind I wish to share with you an incident that happened a few years ago while I was living in North Carolina. The incident was a small thing happening on a day when many small things of huge importance were occurring. My highlighting this incident is not intended to make it more important it is simply being an instance of when I think I got it right and what I would like to always be able to do. There is an adage that writers write not because they know something, it’s because they want to know something, and this is the case in large part for this book.
One afternoon on the most important corner in the city of Charlotte a rally was organized by local clergy from many churches in the region to oppose an amendment to be voted on which would specifically single out LGBTQ folks and legalize discrimination against them. Things went well for the speeches and declarations, however it was not long before a large contingent of vocal individuals who claimed to represent the Christian faith showed up in wearing their full anger and hate regalia. They were disruptive and confrontational.
In the swirl of yelling and Bible waving, name calling and aggressive body language I happened to turn and notice one of the Bible waving tribe had latched onto a guy. He had successfully broken the guys shell and he knew it and wouldn’t stop his verbal abuse. I saw the guy quivering and tightening himself up. Without really thinking I stepped between the two people and as I did so I told the Bible waver STOP! THAT’S ENOUGH!
There was barely enough room between the two of them for me to squeeze into. As I did this in distinctly recall catching the eye of one of the police and later processed that I had his protection if I needed it though in that moment I wasn’t thinking that fast. As I entered between the two and said what I said to the one I faced the guy being yelled at and said FRIEND! Let me hold you. I wrapped my arms around him, well not quite as my arms were too short, and my head only came up to his mid chest. In fact both were much taller than I.
As I wrapped my arms around him he broke down and sobbed. I have felt the same way wish I had had someone to hold me. The yeller left once he saw there was noting to be gained. Now here comes the irony.
Within seconds the guy I was holding who was crying had his wife come up to both of us. Here I was some random gay guy holding and protecting a straight guy who was there to protest on my behalf. He was my ally and I was his.
You see, I believe I acted out of compassion and perhaps sympathy as well, I’ve been the guy he was, I’ve felt those feelings. The guy yelling was of no consequence, I was not anger in that moment, the guy in pain was important and I was humanity. If only I could figure out how to do this all the time. I haven’t figured that out yet. Being human, being in the realm of humanity I could reach the other and reconnect him to humanity thus enabling him to leave the realm of hell and suffering.
Hell
In Western culture when hell is mentioned either images of the devil in opposition to God, or a place in opposite to heaven come to mind. Sometimes there are visuals such as flames and such. Hell is a destination of last choice but not much else. Originally the concept of hell was the midden heap outside the city walls, which incidentally is slightly more insightful from a Buddhist perspective.
There are a bunch of hells in Buddhism, if we are talking about a destination point. Hell as a condition of mind however is not about location. Hell is also more then the Freshman Turkey Drop, that time when in the course of the first weeks of a freshman’s time on campus they gain a new perspective so to speak and break off their relationship with there high school significant other.
Hell can be caused by many things, I’ll name a few now. Powerlessness or helplessness is probably the largest cause. Frustration can be another, though it too could be a form of powerlessness just of a different flavor. Hell can be subtle much like frogs boiling in water. In fact one common image is people basting in a vat of some boiling liquid while being hacked and stabbed by denizens of the realm.
I’ve never tried to boil a frog and so can only go by the words of the adage that in order to boil a frog live, which seems terribly cruel, you first put it in comfortable water and slowly raise the temperature. Hell slowly creeps up on you and then your stuck which only makes hell worse because you have no capacity to remove yourself or jump out of the water.
Even the powerful are at times as helpless as the weak. The suffering is still hell, even if by degrees. Perhaps the powerful suffer more when they are confronted with their powerlessness, it might be so. Fundamentally though none of likes being powerless. When someone removes our voice or agency we experience the hell of not existing and so consequential have no power.
In the hospital patient autonomy is an increasing factor in recommending medical decisions. In fact it is one of the reasons why completing an Advance Directive is so critical. As chaplains we may at times be called upon to ensure the patients voice is honored even when it goes against family or practitioners. It wasn’t always that way. When a person is resuscitated in the hospital when their heart stops it isn’t by paddles it is by intense chest compressions which can and do break bones. This severe abuse to the body may not be what the patient wanted or if they survive what they want to heal from in addition to their original problem.
Think about those feeling that may arise in some of us when a car cuts in front of us and besides being indignant over the act we realize we are fundamentally powerless. Then think about situations when the feeling of powerlessness is centered by an aggressive response further escalating the situation and increasing the danger. The suffering of hell and the desire to eliminate that suffering is what being witnessed.
I think we sometimes fail to look at the moment of hell that precedes the response. What if we were able to break the cycle of being in hell and then doing some action that only tends to trap one’s self in a vicious cycle always returning to hell. If this is unclear at this point I hope you will stay with me for while as we accumulate more pieces to this puzzle. There are other conditions of mind which come into play sometimes in such rapid fire patterns we often miss the moment of hell and that I think hinders us.
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